I was excited for this year’s National Novel Writing Month. I had decided to try something new: make an outline of what I was going to write this year. I spent hours poring over it, coming up with character and plot turns and conflicts and all kinds of motivations and intrigues.

I made it all of two chapters in before I decided to start from scratch.

On November 1st, I sat down to a fresh, blank page. I was ready to go. I had a workable concept–a human’s last night before being turned into a vampire–and was excited to explore it. I sat at my computer for a solid hour and had nothing to show for it. The words simply wouldn’t come. The same happened the next two nights. Finally, on Monday, November 4th, I got started. It was a strong opening. It got the reader’s attention. It set up the main character’s conflict. It hinted at bigger things. It led absolutely nowhere.

I’m six days into NaNoWriMo and have just over 2,000 words to show for it. I should be well over three times that by now if I’m going to hit 50,000 words by the end of the day on November 30th.

So I’m dead in the water right now. Do I start from scratch and desperately try to play catch up? Do I push through and keep trying to shove a square peg into a round hole? I think I have a good concept, I just don’t think I have 50k words here. I think this might work better as a short story. Should I just write that short story and call it an act of discovery? Am I failed as a writer after all?

Meanwhile, I’m out of my depression meds and am having trouble getting them filled. So that’s not helping.

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